I feel so alive.
Lets start a riot
Burn those pictures
Kick those boxes
Smash those glasses
Run threw the streets with hair flying behind me.
Seeing mysekf in a relfection and throw my head back and laugh like they do in movies
I just feel this sudden pain and I want it all gone.
Lets start a riot and never have it leave/
Saturday, November 28, 2009
A girl with a dream
I really liked this one this time
He actually Loved me.
And I loved him back.
But he ended.
I feel so empty so alone .
Is this guilt?
He actually Loved me.
And I loved him back.
But he ended.
I feel so empty so alone .
Is this guilt?
Friday, November 27, 2009
Letting it all out.
When hes gone .
Its all down hill.
Time to vent.
This how I let everything go.
Saying those hurt feelings I`d rather keep inside.
These feeling he`d never understand.
Lets just keep this to our selves.
No one is here to understand
I have all the help in the world and i hide from it.
I dont trust them well, they do not understand.
When hes gone.
Th darker side comes....and stays.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Taking leave.
Why dose everyone leave and never come back?
I'm desperate for my old self and life back.
I really do need it.
I'm desperate for my old self and life back.
I really do need it.
Jumbled mess
People are looking like dolls more and more.
The alleys are filled with dust.
and I am full of this dust. I would like to look like a doll. But I dont.
Looking down seeing threw the brick.
The dawn is breaking
The cars are awaking with screams.
How can this be life?
Wandering the streets to school.
Shuffling threw the grass.
Where did I put those dreams?
glacing up at the sun.
He is laughing and we know it.
He trying to an excuse to leave.
the clouds are gathering.
The alleys are filled with dust.
and I am full of this dust. I would like to look like a doll. But I dont.
Looking down seeing threw the brick.
The dawn is breaking
The cars are awaking with screams.
How can this be life?
Wandering the streets to school.
Shuffling threw the grass.
Where did I put those dreams?
glacing up at the sun.
He is laughing and we know it.
He trying to an excuse to leave.
the clouds are gathering.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
About him.
He remains nameless, for there are to many memories of his smile.
His way he held my hand threw the dark streets
The way he hugged me when I was alone.
It all started with ...letting each other lean on each other for support.
We had silly fights and some scary fights but in the end we always came back.
Somehow he let me lead and i was never wrong.
I came out of that shell. I peeked my head out and was about to step out when he left.
He came back and that's when it ended. the fight that changed everything.
I looked for him over and over he came back and we had a conversation.
Then he killed himself.
that's when all of this started.
When I show my respect in the form of words.
I hope he hears or sees them. One more step and another smile for me.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Changing. The. Looks.
Tomarrow I start my change.
With a smile and a frown,
Look at him and start a conversation.
Keep on talking.
For I have to change.
This is what I have been putting off.
Be Normal.
If that was easy.
I would be normal.
If I ever could.
And to this
I am sorry
Micheal.
I am sorry. I should have never of told you.
Sing
Listen.
Stop.
Move.
Listen.
Start.
Stop.
Turn.
Raise the sound.
Dance.
Stop.
Walk.
Start.
Keep on singing when the lights go out.
Stop.
Move.
Breakdown.
Lalala,
Keep on going.
No one cares.
Sing your heart out till you reach the red carpet.
Stop.
Move.
Listen.
Start.
Stop.
Turn.
Raise the sound.
Dance.
Stop.
Walk.
Start.
Keep on singing when the lights go out.
Stop.
Move.
Breakdown.
Lalala,
Keep on going.
No one cares.
Sing your heart out till you reach the red carpet.
Blocking it out.
Lets put the head phones on and turn up the music.
there the noise is gone.
Let block out the sadness,
the loss of intrest and the hope.
Lets just dance to the music.
Isnt it a lovely night for a moondance?
Side step.
Its time to leave.
Lets walk away tonight.
Into the moon light and bask in its light.
Listen to the music.
Turn the music full blast and dance your way to the stars.
Block out all the faces
Block out all the light and dance.
Look for the moon as you far to your melt down.
Then dance.
Look to the right you should see the coffee shop.
Look to the left you should see the school.
Look backward at the street
Move side ways and backward.
Keep on dancing to block out the life.
Keep on dancing dance past the life.
Dance to your next destanation and dream to the stars.
there the noise is gone.
Let block out the sadness,
the loss of intrest and the hope.
Lets just dance to the music.
Isnt it a lovely night for a moondance?
Side step.
Its time to leave.
Lets walk away tonight.
Into the moon light and bask in its light.
Listen to the music.
Turn the music full blast and dance your way to the stars.
Block out all the faces
Block out all the light and dance.
Look for the moon as you far to your melt down.
Then dance.
Look to the right you should see the coffee shop.
Look to the left you should see the school.
Look backward at the street
Move side ways and backward.
Keep on dancing to block out the life.
Keep on dancing dance past the life.
Dance to your next destanation and dream to the stars.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
I was.
I was gonna wish for a unicorn,
But you caught me eye in that shop.
Looking down and all alone ,
Like me.
Even though you were a doll,
I wanted to know you more.
I was gonna sit there and drink my coffee with you.
Just to feel the same as some one else.
Just to know a somebody who was true.
I only wanted to be friends.
But I was pulled away.
And for that I wish I could have known you more.
My Lover,
I was wishing for you to sit at that window again.
But you were no more.
I hope you found someone to cradle you in their arms and rock you to sleep.
My Love.
I am sorry we never had that last cup of equal feelings of being real.
But you caught me eye in that shop.
Looking down and all alone ,
Like me.
Even though you were a doll,
I wanted to know you more.
I was gonna sit there and drink my coffee with you.
Just to feel the same as some one else.
Just to know a somebody who was true.
I only wanted to be friends.
But I was pulled away.
And for that I wish I could have known you more.
My Lover,
I was wishing for you to sit at that window again.
But you were no more.
I hope you found someone to cradle you in their arms and rock you to sleep.
My Love.
I am sorry we never had that last cup of equal feelings of being real.
The worlds pain,
If you say your feeling pain, the whole world is.
I see threw you, Into that dark place where I dont belong,
Where to keep your secrets.
Let it out, Give it to us,
We will help you and bring you out of this mess.
This whole world is feeling pain, But we will help.
Just give us that pain and suffering. We will turn it into doves and have them fly around you in the dark.
I see threw you, Into that dark place where I dont belong,
Where to keep your secrets.
Let it out, Give it to us,
We will help you and bring you out of this mess.
This whole world is feeling pain, But we will help.
Just give us that pain and suffering. We will turn it into doves and have them fly around you in the dark.
Come back!
Im gonna wash away the pain,
Hide in the sheets,
Waiting for you.
Come back to me.
Im still hidding in theses sheets. Wanting to be found.
Will you find me?
Or am I forever gone to you?
Come back to me.
I dont wanna be alone.
Hide in the sheets,
Waiting for you.
Come back to me.
Im still hidding in theses sheets. Wanting to be found.
Will you find me?
Or am I forever gone to you?
Come back to me.
I dont wanna be alone.
Sick
I think im falling again,
In this sickness, that wont let me go.
This sick feeling of love.
This horrible feeling that I am loved again,
Feeling this makes me wanna leave again.
But this time.
I wont come back.
In this sickness, that wont let me go.
This sick feeling of love.
This horrible feeling that I am loved again,
Feeling this makes me wanna leave again.
But this time.
I wont come back.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
untittled
Help me, I need to get away.
All there is the blood of the ones.
Get me away from here.
Pull me out of this life
and into another life i cant stand this on anymore.
I wish i was a spider web dangling from a tree and blowing in the wind.
Walking out of the brambles is the fox.
His tiny feet leave no mark. Like how my life doesn't need to exist.
His footprints are like my life.
No meaning only to be hunted down and squashed.
Patting the flowers saying my last goodbyes and hellos
I wish farewell and disintegrate into the sunset and hum the melodies of spring.
All there is the blood of the ones.
Get me away from here.
Pull me out of this life
and into another life i cant stand this on anymore.
I wish i was a spider web dangling from a tree and blowing in the wind.
Walking out of the brambles is the fox.
His tiny feet leave no mark. Like how my life doesn't need to exist.
His footprints are like my life.
No meaning only to be hunted down and squashed.
Patting the flowers saying my last goodbyes and hellos
I wish farewell and disintegrate into the sunset and hum the melodies of spring.
A taken Hope
A taken hope is when you have no desire to live,
A taken hope is when you desire to live is when nothing come your way,
when nothing is good,
Only when things are bad,
A taken hope
A taken hope is when you desire to live is when nothing come your way,
when nothing is good,
Only when things are bad,
A taken hope
Wish
A wish is what keeps me going
A wish to love...is somthing that might not happen
A wish to live is somthing that could happen
A wish to die is somthing easily that could happen
a wish is somthing a fairy godmother are good at ,
Only is we all had one.
A wish to love...is somthing that might not happen
A wish to live is somthing that could happen
A wish to die is somthing easily that could happen
a wish is somthing a fairy godmother are good at ,
Only is we all had one.
He
He is mine,Only mine...
I wish,
But I will never be able to
his heart has caught some one else`s
sadly he pushes me away not even caring
that I am hurt.
He is the reason why I want to die
He is the reason ewhy I want to kill.
HE
I wish,
But I will never be able to
his heart has caught some one else`s
sadly he pushes me away not even caring
that I am hurt.
He is the reason why I want to die
He is the reason ewhy I want to kill.
HE
Water
My head is in the water of love
Abosribing it
making sure i dont miss a drop,
But some one pulled me out
not gently
it was him,
he did have a heart,
we both shoved our head in water
abosrbing it
making sure we didnt miss a drop.
and to never be pulled from here.
Abosribing it
making sure i dont miss a drop,
But some one pulled me out
not gently
it was him,
he did have a heart,
we both shoved our head in water
abosrbing it
making sure we didnt miss a drop.
and to never be pulled from here.
only
Only if I had him.
Only if I had a heart for him,
Only if I had a life he could take.
Only if I was his,
Only if I was in his heart,
Only if he was my life,
Only if he had me,
Only if he had a heart for me,
Only if I had a heart for him,
Only if I had a life he could take.
Only if I was his,
Only if I was in his heart,
Only if he was my life,
Only if he had me,
Only if he had a heart for me,
moon
My heart is breaking.
it hurts,
it hurts,
Just like the light of the moon...he shimmers so brilliantly
and just like my fingers shall never touch the moon, My feelings shall never touch his heart,
only if i could fly from here , fly like a bird....
it hurts,
it hurts,
Just like the light of the moon...he shimmers so brilliantly
and just like my fingers shall never touch the moon, My feelings shall never touch his heart,
only if i could fly from here , fly like a bird....
Opposites
Today I wrote about you in my book...Maybe you`d be happier if I didnt put you in my book.
I talked about you today....Maybe you`d be happier if I didnt. Today I sung about you.....Maybe you`d be happier if I didnt. Today I listened to you....Maybe You`d be happier if I didnt. Im sorry..Your just to hard not to ingore you.
I talked about you today....Maybe you`d be happier if I didnt. Today I sung about you.....Maybe you`d be happier if I didnt. Today I listened to you....Maybe You`d be happier if I didnt. Im sorry..Your just to hard not to ingore you.
Our song
Im sorry...
I love you...
I cant stop writting about you..
I think of you every moment I get...
I send all my lovin to you
I hum some beatles
You hum a new song
I look at you..
You look at me with care..those blue ish brown eyes
I ll never forget.
I blush and you laugh.
I love your laugh...
You love it when I smile...
You help me when Im sad...better than any theraphy..
You always make me smile..
when the world crashes down...I want to be in your arms
relizing that you loved me all this time and I loved you.
I love you...
I cant stop writting about you..
I think of you every moment I get...
I send all my lovin to you
I hum some beatles
You hum a new song
I look at you..
You look at me with care..those blue ish brown eyes
I ll never forget.
I blush and you laugh.
I love your laugh...
You love it when I smile...
You help me when Im sad...better than any theraphy..
You always make me smile..
when the world crashes down...I want to be in your arms
relizing that you loved me all this time and I loved you.
falling
Im sliping and sliding ,Put I never will stay.
Love falls into the hands of the needy ,
but it never has fallen into my needy hands.
How Come im sliping and sliding but noone comes for me.
Sliping and sliding between this pain .
I will never stay put for I have promised him to never to love again.
Dissappear
Don't let me disappear,
For I fade away into the crowds.
Only looking for a hand to hold onto.
I need someone to pull me away.
Scared
I am scared of love.
It scares me,
Some times it brings me out of the blue but other times it burries me more into the ground.
Praise
Praise the one you haven't praised,
Make them realize you want them to survive,
Make them want to see everyday.
Let them sprout wings and twigs and branch away to be free.
Let them feel the love that they are so desperate to find.
Let them find the day where they are happy and be able to walk in front of you and achieve.
~dedicated to Kaylie~
Don't leave till you achieve.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
gold
Girl your going for the gold, Even if you say your not, You are, One look and a smile, You can win the hearts of many, Some How, Doubt your self , Theres real gold out there, Just get down from your high horse and see it for your self.
A little poem
Only if this poem had wings...I`d let it fly.
How wrong is it to change an animal?
How wrong is it judge?
This little poem may never go anywhere but it will always be here..waiting
for a reader...I`d advise you my fellow reader these poems have thier feelings and thier evil ways of making you feel somthing or longing for someone.
Dear reader I`d like it if you`d turn your eyes away from me and look deep down into your soul...Is it there?
Is it running?
If it is I`d like it if you`d go and get it and make a barrier to keep it in...
NEVER...I mean NEVER EVER give it away for your selfish desires!
How wrong is it to change an animal?
How wrong is it judge?
This little poem may never go anywhere but it will always be here..waiting
for a reader...I`d advise you my fellow reader these poems have thier feelings and thier evil ways of making you feel somthing or longing for someone.
Dear reader I`d like it if you`d turn your eyes away from me and look deep down into your soul...Is it there?
Is it running?
If it is I`d like it if you`d go and get it and make a barrier to keep it in...
NEVER...I mean NEVER EVER give it away for your selfish desires!
what is love?
What is love?
Is it when two hearts beat for one?
Is it when to people who are hurt inside meet?
Is it when a girl flirts with a boy of her dreams?
Is when she hates a boy?
Is it when she hates him and he loves her?
If in all the stories say she fell in love with him happy ever after!
Is that love or is it only in fairytales?
Why do they tell us love is to die for?
If you don’t know what it is then stop lying and tell the truth for once?
Is it when two hearts beat for one?
Is it when to people who are hurt inside meet?
Is it when a girl flirts with a boy of her dreams?
Is when she hates a boy?
Is it when she hates him and he loves her?
If in all the stories say she fell in love with him happy ever after!
Is that love or is it only in fairytales?
Why do they tell us love is to die for?
If you don’t know what it is then stop lying and tell the truth for once?
Hurtful
I’ve been hurt many times and I’ve hurt many people and I have no right to love any one.. ill hurt you or you will hurt me.
Getting a hold on Life.
I have grown up since you have left.
I am able to walkout that door instead of fearing that door.
Even though you still get me off the train of thought.
But I will cling the thought of you.
Looking around once in awhile, Looking for you.
In this Crowd I feel left out and an outcast with everyone holding hands and hugging.
Back to clinging to the thought of you brings me away from the crowd and my own way.
Hitching a ride on the bus gives me more time to worry bout the past and about you.
Wandering from town to town just looking for you in my dreams.
Grab hold. Life comes and goes as you know
I am able to walkout that door instead of fearing that door.
Even though you still get me off the train of thought.
But I will cling the thought of you.
Looking around once in awhile, Looking for you.
In this Crowd I feel left out and an outcast with everyone holding hands and hugging.
Back to clinging to the thought of you brings me away from the crowd and my own way.
Hitching a ride on the bus gives me more time to worry bout the past and about you.
Wandering from town to town just looking for you in my dreams.
Grab hold. Life comes and goes as you know
Lonley
A shaking heart, trembles for its beats.
Still trembling for something to love.
Trying to hold on before giving up
Still trembling for something to love.
Trying to hold on before giving up
Night Walks
I would like to slip away into the night and wander the streets to you.
Bask in the moonlight.
Just to dissaper from the yelling for awhile.
Watch the other night walkers, walk away from their troubles for awhile.
Just to watch is something new.
Look at the moon in a different view.
I would like to slip away into the forbidden night,
And stay there.
Night walks
Bask in the moonlight.
Just to dissaper from the yelling for awhile.
Watch the other night walkers, walk away from their troubles for awhile.
Just to watch is something new.
Look at the moon in a different view.
I would like to slip away into the forbidden night,
And stay there.
Night walks
learning to be you.
Don’t try so hard.
Be the person to want to be .
Just don’t go swimming for comments.
Fix yourself.
Im not gonna play “clean up”
For you.
Be the person to want to be .
Just don’t go swimming for comments.
Fix yourself.
Im not gonna play “clean up”
For you.
Finding you
Find yourself in the roses with book in hand.
Be the one people want to vist for the winter.
Let them come to you instead of them leaving you.
Be the one people want to vist for the winter.
Let them come to you instead of them leaving you.
Living
Leaving Is how I love.
Seeing him, Makes me feel better.
How to feel,
I learn to feel, for them,
The ones that count on me, To see me smile so they can smile and live.
Seeing him, Makes me feel better.
How to feel,
I learn to feel, for them,
The ones that count on me, To see me smile so they can smile and live.
Locking the door to pain.
Lock down love,
Watch who you love..
They could turn around and stab you in the back.Watch who you love..
Watch out for whose worth the pain.
Lock down love.
For you don’t need it.
For you don’t need it.
Love is just away to get hurt,
Its just away to open yourself up to all the pain you have prevented.
Its just away to open yourself up to all the pain you have prevented.
Stop
Stop
Stop loving me, I do not love you back.
I had my heart torn apart by the only one I love.
I had a heart for you, but you were just waiting till I snapped to leave me.
Just stop.
I don’t need this.
I cant handle that pain anymore.
Stop loving me, I do not love you back.
I had my heart torn apart by the only one I love.
I had a heart for you, but you were just waiting till I snapped to leave me.
Just stop.
I don’t need this.
I cant handle that pain anymore.
Leaving
I want to leave,
Leave these people who hate and bring us down.
Im tried of the lies.
Just want the truth.
Seeing how he acts and take the pain.
I want to become like him.
He takes all the blame.
How dose he take all the yelling in?
When dose he break down like the rest?
Dose he keep going strong…
Dose he realize I need him….
Leave these people who hate and bring us down.
Im tried of the lies.
Just want the truth.
Seeing how he acts and take the pain.
I want to become like him.
He takes all the blame.
How dose he take all the yelling in?
When dose he break down like the rest?
Dose he keep going strong…
Dose he realize I need him….
the ones she can "see"
She has eyes on her palms.
She pretends to see you when she runs after them,
The ones we cant see.
She runs with her heart not her eyes.
She loves to run with her “eyes” seeing the unknown.
She pretends to see you when she runs after them,
The ones we cant see.
She runs with her heart not her eyes.
She loves to run with her “eyes” seeing the unknown.
Higher
How can you get so high and be able to touch the clouds?
How could I believe you when all you spoke was lies to my fragile heart.
How high can you possible get when your holding me back.
How high can you get on the chart when people know your secret.
Higher you go the more lower you sink just to become a spineless follower.
How could I believe you when all you spoke was lies to my fragile heart.
How high can you possible get when your holding me back.
How high can you get on the chart when people know your secret.
Higher you go the more lower you sink just to become a spineless follower.
Low, Lower you sink the more I don’t know you.
For you, I would give you a second chance,
But you have sank to the witches pit to rot.
No one knows you anymore, you used to be the nice guy.
But now you are the bad guy that needs to be brought down from his high horse.
Would you possibly stop this rampage of nothing that you have become.
Everyone is tired of it, No one wants to see you when you act like the town drunk when, you hang out with your friends.
People cower in fear when they smiled at you and said a greeting in foreign words. And a plastic smile as always.
When I was with you, people would smile with their eyes at me. And they’d look over to you and frown.
We all knew the reason for that.
Because you changed.
Being different is great but when no one realizes who you are anymore.
that’s your cue to stop and come back.
We will welcome you back with those smiles and foreign greetings.
How about you come back and we will pretend you never left.
Like how you “roll”.
Just come back to us.
If your trying to make us suffer.
You have, We are suffering while you keep that fox faced grin on.
Too happy you are for a man that has done horrible deed’s.
Welcome back my stranger. How low have you sank this time?
How high did you get my fellow stranger?
Have you seen yourself? Your different.
Go away, Your not the person I want .
How can you come back with that grin?
Good bye you fox faced man.
For you, I would give you a second chance,
But you have sank to the witches pit to rot.
No one knows you anymore, you used to be the nice guy.
But now you are the bad guy that needs to be brought down from his high horse.
Would you possibly stop this rampage of nothing that you have become.
Everyone is tired of it, No one wants to see you when you act like the town drunk when, you hang out with your friends.
People cower in fear when they smiled at you and said a greeting in foreign words. And a plastic smile as always.
When I was with you, people would smile with their eyes at me. And they’d look over to you and frown.
We all knew the reason for that.
Because you changed.
Being different is great but when no one realizes who you are anymore.
that’s your cue to stop and come back.
We will welcome you back with those smiles and foreign greetings.
How about you come back and we will pretend you never left.
Like how you “roll”.
Just come back to us.
If your trying to make us suffer.
You have, We are suffering while you keep that fox faced grin on.
Too happy you are for a man that has done horrible deed’s.
Welcome back my stranger. How low have you sank this time?
How high did you get my fellow stranger?
Have you seen yourself? Your different.
Go away, Your not the person I want .
How can you come back with that grin?
Good bye you fox faced man.
Empty
For awhile I felt loved, but that was all fake.
I tried to get help, I really did like you, you told me to.
I tried for you, To get you back.
But No you push it back in my face.
What a great man you were.
But now you are nothing but a useless puzzle piece to me.
Seeing how you react made this life feel ,
Empty.
Some how you loved me, When I was crying.
You felt like a hero to try helping me.
When I wanted to talk.
You acted like you didn’t know me.
When all I wanted was a friend.
You gave up on me.
How empty am I to you?
Would you treat me the same if I appealed to you?
Dressed in a different nature,
Put my hair down, Swing my hips when I walk?
How would those make you feel better?
Really, How did I become so empty?
Because of you I became empty , again.
I tried to get help, I really did like you, you told me to.
I tried for you, To get you back.
But No you push it back in my face.
What a great man you were.
But now you are nothing but a useless puzzle piece to me.
Seeing how you react made this life feel ,
Empty.
Some how you loved me, When I was crying.
You felt like a hero to try helping me.
When I wanted to talk.
You acted like you didn’t know me.
When all I wanted was a friend.
You gave up on me.
How empty am I to you?
Would you treat me the same if I appealed to you?
Dressed in a different nature,
Put my hair down, Swing my hips when I walk?
How would those make you feel better?
Really, How did I become so empty?
Because of you I became empty , again.
Help
Help me here, I’m struggling to get your attention, Do I have to do something dramatic? I’m struggling under this weight, waiting for you to help me,
Wishes
I often find myself wandering around, looking for him,
Pretending he’s here for me,
When I find my self crying at his absence I realize he is gone, He left,
Without a trace, With a cold farewell.
When I find my self alone, I’d look for his face in the crowd, wondering
“Could he be here?”
“Could he come back for me?”
But the part that wants him gone says
“He left, he’s never coming back for you.”
And then, I stop for awhile,
Act natural, then give up.
Pretending he’s here for me,
When I find my self crying at his absence I realize he is gone, He left,
Without a trace, With a cold farewell.
When I find my self alone, I’d look for his face in the crowd, wondering
“Could he be here?”
“Could he come back for me?”
But the part that wants him gone says
“He left, he’s never coming back for you.”
And then, I stop for awhile,
Act natural, then give up.
Mistakes
I cant pretend to love you forever one of these days I must tell you, It is forever over for you have ruined me till I couldn’t fix my self, Pretending to love you was a mistake.
Different
If your cold, Lie on the sidewalk, You’ll learn something that they cant teach you in school
If your lonely, Talk to a fellow, Find the well,
Run, Show them your different,
If your lonely, Talk to a fellow, Find the well,
Run, Show them your different,
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