My Wonderworld

My hair is made of golden finches,
My arms are the sway of the wind.
My eyes are the stars,
and when i sing elves and trolls come to play together.
Fairies linger at the edge of the trees.
The deers prance around in circles around me and the predators watch from the side line.
As a rat slips in and to disturb this moments bliss.
Picking up the rat and kissing his nose
Everything has its part here.
As the leaves giggle from the funny sight of the sun rising. The trees are in there deadly slumber.
The grass sways in the distant...The stream gurgles from below

Fainting On The Track

All I could remember was:
I was running the 400 sprint, I was in first place until the 200,
I tripped once, then it went black then I could remember seeing the ground come closer and closer till it was in my face.
It went black.
The stars twinkle so nicely.
No don't shake me. No don't wake me.
No don't wake me up.
Everyone is so happy here...
I'm only dreaming.
When I opened my eyes pain shot up my leg and i started screaming.
That's when everyone else was at the finish line.
I didn't know what hurt worse. Me not able to do the 400 hundred or the pain in my ankle.
I sat there and cried, I was so upset and in pain, I couldn't see straight.
I would never tell anyone else about everyone smiling...Because I don't want them to worry.

I just cant put up with it.

I'm at the Verge of tears.
My heart is so torn.
I feel as all my barriers have been torn like the side of buildings.
Every night I dream about a life with me happy,
But love isn't answer C, Love is answer D, something I can always hide, but its always something that hurts more then I need it to be.
Answer A, has the easy way out, but I picked B, Deal with it. I cant always put up with the pain, but the rain helps me. the sound is so heart wrenching, when there are sunny days, I'm upset, when it rains I'm happier then a dove in love.
But today it rains and I cant put up with the love.

Jealous Yet?

When I walk with him, and I see you, I grab his hand and wink at you,
When I see you starring at me I quickly kiss his check and he kisses me back.
When you try talking to me, I ignore you and run off to him.
I only want you to hurt as much as I did.
If you want me back, Good luck Cause I am as gone as Mondays garbage.
According to you. I am Garbage, But to him...I'm everything.
Jealous yet?

I'd Help You? Never.

I would of said no, But I hit the button and said yes.
Just Cause you tried to kiss me doesn't mean you can own me.
I could of held your hand for longer, but you creeper,Were staring at other girls.
You would lean over my shoulder and the bad times would roll in my mind so easily.
I loved you back then but now, you hurt more then ever.
If you asked for help, I'd Gladly never thought about helping you.

Heart Breaker

They call me the Kiss and Ditch,

But I found a boy I like.

And he's gonna stay.

Because He treats me better then you.

He's on my side for most things, Unlike you.

He always has a smile, So much more cuter then yours.

I'm Not A Heart Breaker Anymore. I learned to be so much better,

I learned from you.

Because You Showed Me What Heart Break Was.

Rember Me?

In my mind the song plays over and over .
The play is:
A girl runs threw the rain crying after the part where he leaves her.
She throws her umbrella to the ground at his door and then it cuts to the part of their childhood and it shows them playing and holding the umbrella and it goes on till the part where he leaves her with their childhood umbrella.
As he walks out of his house the next morring he See's the umbrella and looks around and then starts crying.
The TV screen says
3 MONTHS LATER
It goes to the part where she is buying a umbrella and a heart shaped one catches her eyes she tells the clerk she wants the umbrella with the heart on it. its late at night and it starts to rain she puts the umbrella between her and the rain and trys to rember where her studio is.
A man walks into her view as she looks at her phone . She looks up and there is a man standing there staring at her as all the people walk by her in there gray colorless coats and umbrellas, As she stands out , Heart shaped umbrella and her rain boots. She walks by the man and she holds the umbrella out to him and says "I don't think you should be out here without a umbrella you goof." and she smiles at him.
"Don't you remember me?" he says standing next to her.
"Nope, You Are A Complete Stranger, But I Forgot My Way Home, So Will You Help Me? I Live On Aster Street Studio 9. Do you know where that is?"
He looks at her in pain and regret for leaving her all alone in the rain, He heard rumors that something so traumatic happened to her that she went into a coma, but when she came back..She had forgotten everything....As he looked at his shoes "I think I know where it is." He said.
"Whats your name? Mines Aimee." she said to her stranger.
"My name is Josh."
"Oh look there is my Studio, Thank you for walking me home."
As she walked up to her door he whispered.
"Don't Forget me again."

Late Night Rain

Every night a little voice in my head tells me to wait out in the rain, As I skim the horizon,nothing but the rain ,cars,lights, no people, Just me and my umbrella.

I give up and walk home, another voice tells me to turn around, and I have a feeling someone will be waiting at the corner for me. But as I look. No one is there.

Every night I do this.

When shes at her worst, She wont hurt you. She'll just fuss.

Maybe a fear tears late at night, Just maybe.

She'll be found in the rain.

Dreading The Love.

Love was in the sea that night,

Where all the broken hearts drifted to, And now I sit here cleaning them up and fixing them, Putting them on a self, and wait for takers.

She was the cutest thing on the block,

And he was much older, she loved him, he only used her.

Every night when her lights were on, you could hear her sobs threw the cracks in the wall, now...it hurts her to love. Shes Dreading the thought, because her love was to big for her lover.

I did this?

I did this? I wrote these poems of nothing? Have I always been so deep in thought...all the time?
Why cant I be shallow minded and a teen...Why do I have to be so caught up in my greedy thoughts? Sometimes I cant stand myself. Sometimes I wish I was never born...Sometimes..All it is..nothing.

All the cool kids.

I know if I bring you to my school, You'd be sucked into their crowd.
But I want you all to myself because I'm greedy like that.
I've been treated like a princess my whole life, And now that I found you I never want to let you go.

So Many Days

So many times have I sat at the computer and there will be words and the teacher is saying the homework and I will just sit there and scroll threw the words, Because....They start to blur because of the emptiness.
I sit in the back of the class next to the window and look outside and the clouds move and fade away....Because there is nothing that shines in the spring fog.
At lunch my friends will be laughing and hugging me at something stupid prank that I did, But I will only smile and laugh. But its fake. Because I have been worn down.
So Many Days that I have been yelled at. Not to be the prankster or the jester...But its me.
So many days. After this I wont be the same.

Falling apart

I don't know what I did to agree to this,
Its only so long till I fall a apart like everyone else has. But I can't continue without your faithful foot steps behind me.

Living For Your Mistakes.

Life was built of the back and arms of the people that were alive.
I don't want another problem.
Someone is at the door.
Don't bother. I don't have the time to listen while I'm alive.
I don't want to be here.
I feel like I am looking threw someone Else's eyes and seeing what they should see.
Like the people on the sides of the highway, Haunched over and hair gray like the storm clouds, as they move in a herd but some how vanish before you can fully see them.
I don't want to live, Only to become a Mistake.

Im Losing it.

I can't move.
I can't think.
I can't do anything.
All I can do is look.
I keep looking, Looking, Looking.
I can't keep looking.
Its all a jumbled mess, Everything is blurry.
I don't wanna think move or look i can't I've lost it...
I can't get a good enough grip on life...
I can't hold onto the edge of the table.
I'm just to scared to look at you once more. I don't think I could take hearing your voice saying my name.
I would melt away again, But i wouldn't know what to say.
I figured out what the two year anniversary was...Its was his "Death"....

Mary Love.

Mary Love was a girl and she was imaginary.
She only belonged to me but she was always sad.
She would scream,cry and cut.
She never knew what love was.
But her name was Mary Love, How could she not know what love was?
Mary Love. I always cared for you. I tried to make you happy and I had made you a companion, You were obsessed but he left you and you ended it so you sit here in my hands and cry your little fragile eyes as he waves good bye to you over and over.
I only wish I could help you. But Mary Love. You wont let me?

I can't

I cant erase the pain.
I cant do anything to make up for what I did.
But all I know, is I was hurting more then you ever could of.
I have lost the blood, I have felt that emptiness. I have lost to lives of the ones I had loved. But I'm here now. I just wish You'd beat me to a pulp and I could maybe forgive myself.
I'm here now because I have been wandering around looking for you.
I can't do anything but I can wish I had done something.

I'll Always Hold You Close.

There are things I'll never say to you.
But I'll always hold you close.
Things aren't always perfect but I'll find a way to make them Perfect.
In my current state, I feel alone , because I cant escape and I cannot fly as far.
But I still have you. Nothing could be better.

Talk

He dosen't like to talk to me,
I scared him off again
But he'll be back, he'll be crawling to me.
Like always.

Back

I got my voice back.
But as weak as I am I can only whisper but when I whisper it squeaks.
I almost forgot how to laugh and even talk. But its not my fault.

The Place I Wanna Be.

I want to be in a town filled to the bucket with rain and fog.
Where the sun doesn't even exist and where the snow doesn't belong.
Where everyone walks without a bounce in there step. Where they see the rain and shrug and walk on. I want to be in the place where everyone doesn't have a say and me and my doves can live freely with out the remarks of me being insane.

The Fog

There is fog today.
Today I feel like everything isn't mine.
It's someone Else's.
Nothing fits me.
Even when I day dream there's nothing to dream.
The empty skylines greet me with the cold.
Curling up in a blanket and ice cream.
Today I'd rather watch the cars and clouds move instead of that thing called the cable box.
I feel like a helpless child in the middle of no where.
The fog is nice today.
The rain is still pouring down on my helpless dove feathers that wont join me for tea.

Don't Forget Me.

She is going.
She said
"Sorry Little one, Mummy is giving up on life."
She Hugged me and cried all I ever knew was.
Leaving me. Possibly forgetting me.
"Don't forget me..." I whispered as she walked away.

Sun

She will be back,
Its only cloud now.
No Sun.

Sick

My throat hurts so much, I cant even talk without wincing in pain.
The rash is back, My hands hurt and itch even typing is a pain.
All I can do is sit here and try to get better.
The clouds move in an oddly fashion along with the cars in some what of a straight line.
The cats meow scares me..
The sound of footsteps that aren't from anyone home terrifies me.
Everything seems so loud or too quiet.
Everything wobbles to and fro.
The walls hearts are beating in my ears the floors are to high the celling is to low.
Nothing fits. Nothing is heard. Nothing is home.
As I sit and watch from my window abyss , Life seems to roll on by, without me.
I'm fading away silently becoming the walls. What effort to hold on. Do I even exist?

A while ago

A while ago I would have said, "I hate men, they are no use to me, they only cause me pain."
But now. I cant help but see them differently , Like they have a heart to care.
When I walk into school I kept my head down, But now I have them to look to.
They yell at me to sit with them at lunch as all the other girls look at me in digust. What? Cant I have friends that are boys?
When they heard I had someone, They freaked and said "If he hurts you, I'll kill him."
But I only laughed and said, "No need, He would never hurt me,"
But that was back then. Only if they knew he had only used me.
They found out, And they had beaten him to a pulp.
Now they don't leave my side after what he did.
But now I can't even look at a boy and not tear up.

Find or Found?

I always have a feeling of someone looking for me..But they had found me but they lose me every time. As I walk along with friends and family I never fit but I go along, With my fair complexion and my bright green eyes and ruby lips. I cling to someone so I obey the stubborn gravity as my mind is racing with thoughts and words only to make feel me more different. To shy to look up and find or to be found.
Its called being handled or..taken away. Everyone goes but when they come back they end up like me.
Even when I'm alone I look and feel so different from everyone...like they find somethings funny when I sit there and try to smile,But I know they see I don't belong but hold my hands just so I don't disappear again.
When I lay in my bed to sick to do anything. I stare off into space and wonder why I don't fit. But when you appeared at my side . I was to weak to even hold your hands, I tried to get up but my legs gave out. I seemed to weak in your arms. But you held me ever so strong, As you kissed the top of my head you whispered.
"I have found you..."
That's when I looked up. You were my missing piece , And why I never fit in with anyone, Cause I never had you at my side.
I never needed to find anything. You found me first.

Walking Across The Street

Last night I wanted more from you.
But I looked into your eyes and all they said was "Never."
As I ran threw the streets feeling rejected and hurt, Memories of you and me rolled like a movie film in the theaters and all I could do was watch you.
Your Smile.
Your Warm Hugs.
Your Inviting Eyes.
Your Kisses After Everything.
The last image was.
You standing in the rain watching across the street and as I ran to you with your arms wide open and your eyes inviting me and your warm hug was much needed as you would smile and kiss me. But the car got me first.

Broken Glass

Life was the abyss.
All I did was drift.
All they said were mumbles of pain.
Abyss was the life.
He lingers by the door frame near last nights fun.
His eyes show the pain of the glass and it reflects on everything that was good.
She lingers by the window near last nights pain.
Her eyes filled with tears that shine in the moonlight.
As he steps towards the window to stop her.
When she looks back all she sees is him.
As he reaches his hand for her she jumps out the window.
Falling threw air, Falling threw the broken glass.
Leaving what life she had left.
He looks down from the window all he sees was her the one that was his and he was hers. Many years go by many winters pass. He sits there in door frame looking at the window where last nights fun...never was. He shuffles his feet in the broken glass and thrusts into his head. Life was a heartache, and she had to take the easy way out.

Moderation.

Whats life worth living if the one I love leaves me for his studies?
When all the vantage points to seeking happiness is gone....
Sometimes I'm so lost in thought I only watch peoples faces even when there suppose to be moving they stand still an have there mouths wide open and there mouths are open and drool lingers at the edges where there suppose to be smiling.
As cuddly as I get I can never hold onto you long enough.
When I woke up all my dreams had left and the holes had taken me back.
When life is to be lived and pain to be seeked out I will plunged into the watery abyss and take a gulp or sea air and begin my migration to the north where all the fun happens, because We all know "What Happens In Vegas, Stays In Vegas."
Times have changed my friends. Life is all over the media but there not living they are just floating while we sit back and watch the empty people drift away from my grasp.
When I hold you close the sun comes back to my eyes.
When your gone the sun is gone.
Media, Its all about there problems.