"Kitten"

How you sat on his lap and he held you to him.....I was jealous, He's mine... when we sat at the restaurant and he asked to come with him, To watch her flirt which is a bad flirt while i sat there watching you absorb it...I rolled my spaghetti around my fork so many times you couldn't see the fork. How come you don't see my feelings towards you?....I thought you knew and felt the same obviously....You only see me as a weakling that stumbles and stutters around men. A fear that I cant hide... When I'm in your arms and as you hugged me in friendly way even though I was scared of you...I never wanted to leave your arms....the warmth was oh so nice...
Men-Phobia...that's what you said i had but you called me "My Lil' Scared Kitten" that's how I got the name of "Kitten" That's when I had found my spot in your heart....Your little Kitten....
But she glares at me threw her thick rimmed glasses....and gives me a cold smile as she tower above me. At school I linger around your classes hoping I can catch your eye. Or catch a smile, Maybe even a hug or a 'Hey kitten" and I'll blush and run off. But your giant stares me down and sends chills up my spine now, I don't linger by your classes...I'm scared she'll hurt me like how your hurting me....

Trying To Find Reason.

As I look at myself in the mirror there is a pale short cropped hair girl with gentle and full of love looking eye that resemble the woods, She seems so familiar but to me she is just a alien that is weak and cant do anything.
As I walk to school making sure I don't see anyone I know and I run threw the woods and try to get far away before school ends, As I run I try to escape my thoughts and emotions and trying to lose the ones I call friends. As I sit there hiding from my feelings and thoughts someone always reaches a hand toward me when I'm about to give up....When I stand in a crowd there are giants all around me acting like are older then me while I sit here Tiny and fragile and young while they act like everyone else and go off with their "lovers" Trying to find a reason while you don't have the lock or the key.

Me

I'll hold you close, And when your away I'll regret ever letting you leave.
I'll never say I love out loud, Because I'll regret it if you hurt me.
I'll regret ever loving you if you ever leave me again.
Cause I have found you once but then I lost so many times but I think I have found you for the last time.
Because This Is Unpredictable Me

Selfish Act.

After learning what you did was wrong and selfish.

I felt abandoned.

But you were always so deep in thought, That is what I loved about you besides your gentle hands.

Your selfish act has made me the person I am today. Because you are the distant memory I will always have but there is something I cant get over. Why you left me for your selfish deed....

I felt like you never loved me...but every night it was the same line...

i love you....

i love you.....

i love you......

Sometimes those words hurt more then ever.

Selfish, Selfish, Selfish..Person, How come I ever loved you?

Flying Artists

Every night till the age of ten, I would pretend to fly. I would put my arms at my sides and "fly" around my room and pretend to jump in the air like a ballerina, But at the age of 11, I grew out of the angel stage, Instead of dreams in a deep sleep, I wept.
I couldn't fly, I went to school and filled my mind with stories of the flying artists. But I knew I would never have the wings to sore, But every night I dreamt of flying till my lungs gave out.... But I couldn't fly because I cant let go of the pain that weighs me down so I cant fly with the flying artists. So I'll hid the pain until They come and find me the flying artists will sore above my selfish hands in wait of a shove

Why Rain Makes Me Smile

The gloomy weather makes me smile inside, Because everyone is sadden and I cant sit there and laugh my way through the day knowing someone was sad like me